Throughout the healing journey that I'm on I have often thought that I have reached a stage of "healed", that I am ready to start to live normally again, and then something out of the blue triggers an enormous reaction and panic inside me, even worse than the time before. It seems like it appears out of nowhere and hits you for 6. It doesn't seem to make any sense. This part of the process has been extremely troubling for me and for my family members so once again I went searching for answers.
I found out that bullying targets are often diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder which is generally misunderstood by both targets and family members. Targets may suffer uncontrollably without treatment by a trauma specialist. This is the interesting part, the trauma's onset is typically delayed and it lasts long after removal from traumatising conditions. This part baffles everyone. People in your life can't understand why or how the pain lasts so long.
The following information comes from www.workplacebullying.org
Events that sustain PTSD and prevent the start of healing include fighting back with your employer, the tortuous multi-step years-long grievance process dragged on by your employer, disability or workers comp insurance claims, and lawsuits with their invasive depositions that take years to complete.
The problem of re-triggering the trauma, months or even years later, is more vexing. You believe you have healed. You passed the magic one year period since all triggering-events ended. Your lawsuit is long past. Then, you drive by the parking lot or run into former coworkers who abandoned you when you needed them most and all the negative emotions come rushing back. You are again paralyzed. It is not a weakness on your part. Rather, it is proof of the intensity of the trauma you endured.
In a way, you might always be a "recovering" victim of trauma. Proneness to re-traumatization differs across individuals. It has been described as similar to cancer that returns after remission that can be driven back into remission. Practice your desensitization skills and revisit your counselor familiar with your case. It will be a quicker return to normalcy than when the traumatizing bullying first occurred.
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